Look Past
by SweetT1
Summary: A Sesshumaru fic!What would happen if a strong person were broken? How would it change him? What would happen if he fell for someone who also was like him? Someone who was nto as strong as she used to be?How would they move on? How would they Look Past?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Ok for ALL those out there I DO NOT OWN Inuyasha, I couldn't even afford to in my wildest dreams so there! ( I just really love the show man!LOL!  
  
Authors Note: Well there will always be men that are stronger than others: men who seem to never be affected by the plight of those around them. Yet I've always wondered what would happen if a strong man were to be dealt a blow to his pride, heart and soul unlike any other?  
  
What would happen?  
  
How would he react?  
  
Would he still be the strong confident man he was before?  
  
And finally what would happen if we placed another in his life that was sorting through her own hurts and pains? How would things work out for them?  
  
How would they ever come to LOOK PAST.  
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Oh what joyous time was spring, birds singing, flowers in bloom. A time of newness; a time of birth. Yet it wasn't a time of joy for the ever- conflicting half-brothers whom on that beautiful first day of spring opted to have it out once and for all instead of enjoying nature around them.  
  
Grunts and expletives mingled in the air of the meadow behind Lord Sesshumaru's castle fortress as the fight waged on. Kagome stood off her wide doleful brown eyes ripe with unshed tears as she silently prayed for Inuyasha's safety and survival in this fight. She was big with child and the stress was not good for her or the child yet Sesshumaru had used that fact in getting Inuyasha to fight. A fortnight before he'd abducted her and held her as his prisoner. She hadn't been mistreated yet she hadn't been placed on a pedestal either. Sesshumaru had treated her with the same cold indifference he treated everyone else. The only thing that had made her smile other than the movements of her baby was the sweet beautiful fairylike child whom Sesshumaru had subconsciously adopted, Rin.  
  
Rin stood dejected beside Kagome watching with breath held in anticipation. She was lost, she wanted her guardian to win because of love, loyalty and pride; yet she also knew that if he won that Kagome and her child would die. Maybe not directly from her guardian yet she knew that despite her strong countenance Kagome would break if Inuyasha broke. She could sense the connection between the mates and knew that it was interconnecting. They needed each other to make it through.  
  
"ENOUGH!" a voice familiar to the scrapping brothers stopped them midway through their battle. They looked around for the bearer of the voice; it was as they'd expected and their worst nightmare yet fondest dreams come true. Their father stood before them the great Inutaishou and his father Nakaramu.  
  
"Tania sit still!" her mother admonished as they sat in the car driving to their new home. Actually not new for her parents: just new for Tania.  
  
"Yes ma'am!" Tania responded eyelashes lowered so that her mom wouldn't see her tears. She missed her poppa and the Cossacks she'd grown up with. She hated the noisiness of this new place and she hated the way she now had to dress. Why had her poppa let her go? Didn't he love her anymore? Tania's tears spilled onto her new dress and she stared at it thinking back to the last time she'd seen her poppa.  
  
"You have to go with her Tania! Kikiyo is after me and I want you safe." Her father had admonished hugging her then handing her to the smiling woman in the funny dress.  
  
"But poppa I have to stay with you! Why can't you stay here where he can't find you?" Tania asked stubbornly.  
  
"I can't precious! She'll find me! I don't want her to find you! Just stay with these nice people! They are your momma and poppa now!" he whispered smiling as he headed back towards the gate from whence they'd come from. He turned back and blew a kiss to her as he stepped through the time chasm that linked past with present and future. Only a few knew of it's existence and only those with pure hearts and honorable intentions could use it. And even though she knew that the demon Kikiyo couldn't pass through that portal she also knew that Kikiyo was crafty enough to find another way to them.  
  
"Poppa I love you!" she called out as he vanished into the air. And with that she turned to her new okaasama and otoosan. They weren't her real ones yet she knew they'd treat her right just the same.  
  
"So in order to keep the family line going you two had planned to fake your deaths one after the other with enough time to grow us into adolescents?" Inuyasha enquired taken aback.  
  
"Yes! And you two were trying to let all that go down the drain with your blasted vendetta! I love you both sons!" Inutaishou stated cuffing his sons playfully. "Now let's go inside to celebrate our reunion."  
  
"For you all probably yet it doesn't settle the fact that you loved him more otoosan! I was stronger father and you gave him all of your prizes."  
  
"You have to realize that I knew that you would have no real use for teiseiga and that you wouldn't need me to win your battles. Inuyasha was always the one who needed me son! You didn't need me as much; you hardly ever needed anyone at any point in your life. I wanted you to learn the secrets to happiness, which is why I made sure not to hand everything to you on a silver platter. I didn't recognize that it might backfire and infest you. Son I love you and I only was looking out for you two!" Inutaishou replied.  
  
"Otoosan it still doesn't change the fact that I was left with nothing really but this mausoleum and this worthless sword."  
  
"To teach you compassion son. Not only do we rule these humans but we must also protect. And to protect them well we must take the time to understand. You are the heir to this family's legacy so you had to learn to appreciate it! It's time we settled all family disputes once and for all!" Inutaishou stated walking off towards his solar. His sons and his father followed with Rin and Kagome tagging along docily.  
  
He reached behind the papperet that graced one of the walls and pushed back a stone, which opened a door that led to a descending stairway. Cobwebs and an unlit torch was all that was seen at first glance by Kagome yet the other five sets of eyes had no problems distinguishing shapes in the light or lack thereof of it. Inutaishou waved his hand and the torches all lit up alighting their path.  
  
They descended one after the other into the abyss, which led into a chamber unlike any they'd ever seen before. Plush velvet fabric upholstered the furniture that had beautiful cherry oak end tables and bookcases to blend with. Books on all manners of topics from all ages graced the shelves and a huge oak table filled the center of the room. It had the names of their whole family etched into the wood with births and deaths.  
  
"This is our family room where all secrets and feuds are found out! At this table no lies can be told because this table senses lies." Nakaramu explained  
  
"And now we shall find out the truth about all that is in our past that hinders us from moving on together as a family!" Inutaishou went on to add. "Are you two ready to go down that road?" 


	2. Look PastPrologue Part 2

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Inuyasha ok? I only own my imagination and I hope you enjoy what I did with it.(  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Just to warn you Sesshumaru fans that in this fic (at least the first few chapters) he'll not be as arrogant, cold or detached as he usually is! {I love him in that manner yet for the plot of this fic I need him out of character a lil while K? Work with me here!} It'll all be righted in like bout four chapters. Bear with me ok?  
  
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Inuyasha walked out of the family room with a new respect for his brother and a new friendship. A lot of truths had been revealed and as they walked out into their father's solar they kidded around with each other relating to Kagome funny stories of their childhood.  
  
"OW!" Kagome called out as a sharp jab of pain ripped through her abdomen.  
  
"What happened?" Inuyasha enquired in alarm.  
  
"I think that our child is in a hurry to be out into this world kawaii!" Kagome whispered reassuringly as her water broke and Inuyasha hefted her into his arms and took her to his former room.  
  
"Get the midwife!" Inuyasha dictated sending the household into frenzy. "Watashi ren'ai anata kawaii!"  
  
"Watashi ren'ai anata kawaii!" Kagome whispered as she tried not to think of the pain that ripped through her. Inuyasha did their best to settle her in before being ushered out by the midwife who was short and fussy. She'd clucked something about males being only able to put a child into a woman and not good or ready for the birthing.  
  
Inuyasha and Sesshumaru paced the room with their father and grandfather telling stories to pass the time. After what seemed like forever Inuyasha was allowed to see his family then the extended family was called upstairs to view mother and daughter.  
  
"I named her Cinnamon due to her cinnamon colored eyes neither brown nor topaz just a mixture of both." Kagome stated proudly as Inuyasha held both mother and daughter in his arms.  
  
"And her hair is like sa`to to sweeten her up!" Rin added softly.  
  
"You're right sweetheart it's just like sugar sweetening cinnamon." Inutaishiou agreed hugging Rin to him as Sesshumaru looked on smiling as he'd finally gotten a family of his own.  
  
Tania stood before her mirror staring at herself in shock at the news she'd just received. They were dead and nothing she could do about it. Her otoosan and okaasama: both in a fiery plane crash off the coast of Japan leaving her alone at the ripe old age of twenty-one. This is the existence you sent me to poppa? She asked the picture in the history book she'd found facts about her true father in.  
  
He'd died not too long after he'd returned to Asia as kikiyo was going through one of her attacks on the villages searching for her. She knew exactly what Kikiyo wanted from her. Yet would never get.  
  
"Ring!" the sound of the telephone jarred her depressed and cold state reminding her of the arrangements to be made. "Hello!" she answered as impartial as she could.  
  
"Hey Tania I just heard! I'm so sorry!" the voice of her recent ex and it did her nothing.  
  
"Yeah thanks! Well I gotta go so I'll call you later!" Tania whispered choking on tears she refused to cry.  
  
"Sure! I'm here if ever you need me!"  
  
"Ok thanks Nick! I appreciate that! Bye!" And with that she hung up and turned back to the pictures of her parents.  
  
*Here in my heart there's a picture of us together forever unfaded and unbroken, wherever you are your love covers me. Forever more you'll be here in my heart *  
  
The words of her favorite song by the group Plus1 came back to her as she thought of how all the pictures she'd kept of her family would be what she had to sustain herself. She was alone in the world with no one. She'd never felt so alone and empty. Yet no matter she would be okay and she would survive.  
  
Sesshumaru stood beside the rubble that had been his brothers home. All that was left was ashes and smoke. He shouldn't have left.  
  
"Lord it's been found that it was a demon attack set for your brother and his wife." Jaken reported solemnly. "Your family seems to have wanted to handle this one their selves."  
  
Sesshumaru looked at the rubble then at the two beautiful girls beside him who were now his responsibility. He knew that whatever had been after their parents would be after them and also after him. It was time he changed tactics; instead of fighting fire with fire he'd fight it in a different way!  
  
"Rin, Cinny! Come here!" He called out to the two girls who ran over closer to him.  
  
"Where is everyone else oji?" Cinny asked.  
  
"Doesn't matter now sweetheart! Just look at your oji's pretty talisman." Sesshumaru directed waving the chain back and forth before the girls hypnotically. They became entranced and Sesshumaru whispered a chant as old as time itself that blocked all their memories of that day and of their true parents. To them he was their otoosan and their okaasama had died. At the end of it he teleported them to the well where he cloaked their hanyou forms into their human forms as well as cloaking himself. He took one last look at his past then took them to the future. 


	3. Look Past

Disclaimer: Hey folks just reminding you all that I do NOT I repeat do NOT own Inuyasha or any other associated characters. The only person I own is Tatania who is my own heroine and I hope you all like her and my imagination! So never forget that I do NOT own Inuyasha ok? Thank you!  
  
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Nagaraku anata saseru koto no kono sekei hahimeru tsukuru anata kanashi! Nagori no otoko watashi ren'ai mae ni nagori naka shiteki, shizuka na, joobu na dare ni watashi ren'ai kankei ni naru! Toki ni anata shitte iru dai joobu naorimasu!  
  
Ren'ai itsu mo  
Kawairashi *T*  
  
Translation: For a long time you let things of this world start to make you sad! Traces of the man I loved before remains inside, poetic, silent, strong man with whom I fell for! It's time for you to know that you will get well!  
  
Love Always  
Sweet *T*  
  
Was he really a "man"? How could he be when there he stood in full youki form before his mirror looking at the note his dear Tatania had left him that morning before she'd left for work. The voluptuous raven haired Russian beauty that'd truly captured his heart and soul. She was one of the best things in his life and one of the only reasons he was still sane.  
  
"Sesshumaru!" the voice of his grandfather Nakaramu the reigning Lord of the great Western regions came to him harshly.  
  
"Yes ojiisan!" Sesshumaru replied bowing in respect as the great Lord Nakaramu materialized.  
  
"It's time you stopped playing at this game! Becoming a man will not bring back your otoosan, niisan or Kagome back. What's done is done my child. We must now carry on with the pain never forgetting yet trying to look past. Especially for the sakes of Rin and Cinnamon, you have to give them some sense of normalcy!" Nakaramu reprimanded.  
  
"Ojiisan with all due respect I am trying to give them some sense of normalcy. They are both part human and need some semblance of a normal human childhood. They do not need to be constantly in fear that some hackless crazed demon would be after them because of whom their parents were." The muscle in Sesshumaru's jaw ticked in cognition with his rapidly beating heart as he tried his best to reign in his temper.  
  
"You think I want that for my great grand children? You think I want that upon any of my descendants? I can't help who we are Sesshumaru and neither can you! You must live up to your birthright; for I'm not sure how long I'll be around and those girls deserve to know their families TRUE history not some made up history of Sesshumaru Wakusi's family." Nakaramu replied harshly as his frail countenance became evident.  
  
"Ojiisan I cannot go back!" Sesshumaru stated firmly.  
  
"You have to! It's time you marry Kikiyo and give me youki great grands to fawn over." Nakaramu prodded.  
  
"Urggh! ENOUGH ojiisan! With all due respect that b@#$* who only became youki because she collected innocent souls? No ojiisan my place is here with Tatania!" Sesshumaru stated.  
  
"This is not the end of this Sesshumaru!" Nakaramu parted before vanishing into thin air.  
  
"Have fun in the warring ages ojiisan! Have fun!" Sesshumaru whispered then turned back to the note Tatania had left him. His façade was wearing thin it seemed, and if Tania could see through it then the girls probably had also. He would have to be more diligent.  
  
"Otoosan!" Rin called out running into his office with Cinnamon following closely behind.  
  
"Hey sweethearts; how was your day at school?" Sesshumaru asked thankful that his senses had been pricked and attuned to their presence. He'd cloaked into his human form just in the nick of time.  
  
"Great I made some new friends daddy!" Rin enthused yet Sesshumaru sensed something was up with Cinnamon.  
  
"What's up Cinny? How was your day at school?" Sesshumaru asked.  
  
"Not nice! The girls at school teased me because of my silver hair color and my cinnamon eyes. They say that my eyes are funny shaped otoosan!" Cinny cried as her lips trembled sobbingly.  
  
"Oh Cinny your eyes are a beautiful cross between your mom and dad's eyes! Baby they're a beautiful pair of cinnamon cakes with sugar sprinkling for hair. You're very beautiful! Both you and Rin!" Sesshumaru soothed gathering both girls into his arms tenderly. A pair of cinnamon brown eyes and a pair of pure amber toned eyes stared at him wondrously.  
  
"Otoosan tell us about our okaasama?" Rin enquired and Sesshumaru complied with her request. Retelling the story he'd related to them so effortlessly before yet this time the words of his grandfather came back to him again ".those girls deserve to know their families TRUE history not some made up history of Sesshumaru Wakusi's family." How could he reveal to them the truth of their pasts and their parents' pasts? How could he look past the pain and show them how they could make it as the hanyou ladies they were? How could he live up to the role he was expected to play in life when he knew that in the end it would always cost pain? 


	4. Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha never have, never will! Thank you!  
  
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Tatania walked in and watched as Sesshumaru played with the little girls who scrambled all over his laughing form. They were so energetic and joy-filled that it eased all the tensions of the day from her tired frame.  
  
"How are my favorite girls and guy doing?" Tania called out calling attention to the fact that she'd arrived.  
  
"Hey girls it's Tania! Isn't she beautiful today?" Sesshumaru stated smiling as he disentangled himself from the two petite munchkins who'd tried to ransack him.  
  
"Yes otoosan! She's very pretty!" Rin agreed giggling as she noticed the definite underlying tensions between the two adults.  
  
"Miss. Tania will you be our mommy?" Cinny asked with wide doleful cinnamon brown eyes set on Tania and a pouty lower lip that melted at Tania's self- defenses and tugged at her maternal instincts.  
  
"Aw sweetums of course I'd love to be your mommy and I will be as soon as me and your daddy get married. And you two will be there smiling and laughing and then we'll be a family!" Tania reminded her as she enfolded her into her open and loving arms. "I can't wait to be your mommy sweetie!"  
  
"We can't wait until you're our mommy!" Rin added squealing as Sesshumaru swooped her up into his arms. Forest green eyes looked up from her vantage point situated quite comfortably on the floor with Cinny in her arms; as she glanced up at father and daughter's easy bantering she remembered her own father and the way in which they'd often played. Not as easy yet fun nonetheless.  
  
"Poppa what are we gonna do today?" a beautiful brunette girl asked her father looking up from her vantage point in the carriage next to him.  
  
"We're going to visit Asia princess. The tzar has a mission for us! We are the Cossacks Tania; we were born only to do the tzar's bidding! You see that C on your shoulder my love?"  
  
"Yes poppa!"  
  
"It's the mark of our allegiance! You must always be proud of your birthright princess! Always my love!".  
  
"Earth to Tania!" Sesshumaru teased as Tania snapped out of her recollections. "Where were you just now?"  
  
"I was remembering my father! He died a long time ago." Tania replied getting up off of the floor. "Isn't it time for some little princesses bath time?"  
  
"Clever ploy Miss. Tania. Switching the topic so effortlessly! I almost was fooled, almost!" Rin replied laughing as they headed up to the bathroom.  
  
"Are you sure she's only thirteen Sesshu? She's far too wise to only be thirteen." Tania teased as they all began laughing and bantering in their usual manner.  
  
Warm amber eyes much like hers looked down at her with such love as she smelled the warm scents that she knew instinctively was home. She saw a brunette with her back turned to her humming as she cooked dinner. She saw her otoosan standing afar from her and she heard herself call him oji. He reached for her as he straddled Rin on one of his knees. He held them both letting them know how much he loved them.  
  
"Okaasan!" she called out to the brunette who turned and she drowned in twin pools of brown eyes. She looked around her and felt safe and warm and content.  
  
The sound of a mighty wind was heard as the front door slammed open startling her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her ojiisan appear as if prompted and command Sesshumaru to leave with her and Rin.  
  
"No otoosan! My place is here! You need me!"  
  
"It's not your battle Sesshumaru! Take care of Cinny until we meet up with ya'll keep her safe!" Inuyasha stated as he hugged his brother as an insurmountable force began their onslaught on the family.  
  
"Okaasan!" she cried out in terror as her mother slipped away to join the fray.  
  
"It'll be okay kawaii! Be good for your oji! Okaasan and otoosan loved you!" the brunette whispered as she kissed her farewell.  
  
"Watch your neesan and your mei with all your heart Sesshumaru! Go to my otoosan's! We'll meet up with you!" her ojiisan directed as the rest of his army appeared and fought. "Un ga ii!"  
  
And with that she lost sight of her family as she was transported to her great-grand fathers castle.  
  
She woke up in cold sweats in her bed crying out for her mother. Instantly her ojiisan was by her side. Or was he really?  
  
"What happened precious?" Sesshumaru asked.  
  
"I had a dream oji! About my okaasan and ojiisan!" she whispered as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.  
  
Sesshumaru froze as he realized without her telling him that she'd remembered. He'd done everything in his power so that she could have forgotten yet it seemed she had. It was time for him to face his past. 


End file.
